AtR: Cascadia

After Action Report: General Noroak, First Home Guard Legion

Spotters observed a group of Humans emerge from the Monolith. They had evaded the Dweller Demons. From the Monolith building they destroyed the Death Guardian by growing wings and jumping upon its face. The Warriors were impressed. The humans then attempted entry into home. Bribe tactics were attempted by the first rank of the Home Guard. These were unsuccessful. Standard Threat Display was initiated. Escalation to exploding flaming poo grenades was not required, nor was the Praetorian Guard summoned as the Humans withdrew on their own.

Ever Vigilant,
Noroak

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The Search for the Crawler Tank, Part 1
Boats, Musical Morlocks and the Death of Grinderbot

The Search for a Crawler Tank or Three, Part 1:
Boats, Musical Morlocks and the Death of Grinderbot

I met up with Nari, Torliff and Anders at the Stalwart Order’s guild hall and we found out that a gentleman named Carlisle or something was interesting in acquiring a piece of technology called a “Crawler Tank.” Naturally Nari was thrilled at the idea and Ander’s decided he wanted one of his own. So off we went to Mary Sues Boarding House and Sewing Parlor to inquire about the gentleman and perhaps dig up more details.

Anders decided to try and get a job there and that did not go well. Apparently the denizens of the place, nor Mary Sue, were fond of his death-metal rendition of whatever it was song he was screaming about, oh, and his guitar broke. Or maybe lute, never cared about such things. Nari was ogling the old world artifacts they had on display there and I think she plans on killing the waiter she talked too who refused to open the case.

After that we decided to go a check out other sources including those of the Guild we had just come from.

So back we went to the Guild and the greeter, Hans Hendrick the AI, was more than helpful in acquainting us on the basics of the Crawler Tank, it is an android tank that, shock and dismay, crawls! It looked like some sort of land-octopus, or landopus, and they came in a variety of sizes.

The contractor listed possible locations as Renton Bay, an industrial complex in Seattle, the bad part with pious cannibals, a factory in Sammamish and Microsoft Tower in Bellevue. We ruled out Renton for now as none of the others can swim and decided to head off to Bellevue.

The trip to Bellevue was easily enough, take a ferry to Bridgeport Island and then contract a boatsman to head into Bellevue proper. After we made it to Bellevue’s northwestern outskirts a very helpful Guard, Kyle I think it was, told us about the underground tunnels from Marymoor that would take us into Bellevue with ease.

Taking his advice we hired a boatsman to ferry us to Marymoor and then headed into the tunnels. After some twists and turns Anders decided to start playing a tune and very quickly gathered us a morlock following. Literally, they love his music, and got mean when he stopped playing, so… we quickly found a way out of the tunnels and locked the doors behind us barely escaping the morlock fans of Anders.

We found ourselves in a building opposite the Microsoft Tower, which was good, but the route to it was guard by some sort of flying android with a heat beam, which was bad. Fortunately the building had electronic locks on the stairs that Nari managed to activate, which allowed us to camp out in the relative safety of the “Valve Offices” that night. We even managed to gather some new ciphers from the ruins, some sort of teleporter gun and a cloth wing-thing called a “parachute.” Nari showed me how they worked.

The next day we discussed our ways in which to deal with the flying robot I shall call grinderbot. We could teleport over and set up ziplines but that seemed to be a waste, we could try scouting through the basement parking garage, which would probably been the wisest thing to do, but I REALLY wanted to try that parachute thing and figured I could use my Metal Death cipher on grinderbot to cripple it. Worth a try, besides the bickering was driving me nuts.

So we went up to the top of the building, which we found was a natural garden rich in fruits and vegetables, how handy! And I jumped off. The plan was to spray it and then shoot it but on the way down grinderbot spotted me and came up to try and “process” me with its rotary teeth.

As I got out my axe to jam the gears Anders threw a chair into my parachute, I think he was trying to hit the robot, and shredded it. So I released it and pulled the second chute as Nari showed me. Man that robot was getting close! So Torliff threw his magic axe at it, which the darned thing absorbed and got more powerful from, and Anders threw a potted plant at me too. That at least, missed everything!

I think my friends may be trying to kill me.

I managed to stun it with my axe, spray it with the Metal Death and then make a spectacular landing, pull out my bow and arrow, and while it hopped and glitched about as the Metal Death turned it into a fragile glasslike substance which I shattered with one perfect shot while dodging the potted plants my friend threw from the roof as some sort of “help.”

I stomped off to the Microsoft building and waited for the rest of them to arrive.

By the time they did we noticed the building was populated!

By chimp-gorillas, or chimprillas.

The chimprillas gave me a thunderous applause, which was very polite as they were apparently pleased with the grinderbot’s destruction, but as Anders moved forward to talk with them they started throwing the poo. And drumming, and pointing sticks at us. We were not going to be getting far into this building, which I have dubbed the Tower of the Apes. So we retreated back to the safety of the Valve offices and found a map of the entire underground area! Hazzah! Tomorrow we plan on investigating the parking garage under the Microsoft Complex, hopefully the chimprillas do not guard it too.

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The Search for the Crawler Tank, Part 2
Cyborgs!

The team eventually managed to escape from the Legion of Devolved Microsoft Executives by retreating to Valve World HQ. From there they regrouped, meandered, and finally found their way down to the vast, sprawling parking structure under the plaza. There was some confusion at first about a sealed security gate, but Nari’s quick thinking with a bit of Ancient Tech and fwoomp! she was on the other side.

Eventually Nari was able to get the rest of the group through the gate by vandalizing some priceless vehicle artifacts that were stored on Level Black.

Some exploration followed, a bit of cleverness and through the door!…. Only to be attacked by a legion of Cyborgs and a walker/tank/robot/thing. The Group managed to escape with the carcass of the robot. The group fled, with Anders vowing to return for the vehicles, and Nari vowing to return for the secrets of the Lair of the Cyborgs.

But that, as they say, is another story…..

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Temple Mount

_On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
“Please bring me my wine”
He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
“Relax, " said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "_

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Heading to Rainier
a series of unexpeceed events

First the group wrapped up their encounter in Temple, they decided it was a lovely place, with an Artifact that killed hostile Abhumans from Bellevue-town with swarms of bees. No wonder the local single lasses were making their way to the community to hook up with the mostly male population of refugees from the east…..

The group had a series of unexpected adventures on the road south toward Swift Creek,

They sacrificed their smoked fish to a pod of Lorb in order t o discourage them, sadly this had the opposite effect causing one of the pod to smash their canoes in search of more free fish.

This stranded the group on Skyway Island where they navigated the traps and ambushes of the native abhumans while they built a raft.

Eventually the group escaped across the channel to Tukwilla, a community that is renowned for fishing and raising tame Lorb for export. here they replaced their canoes and supplies.

Next the group made their way to the bustling town of New Ortig where they discovered mills and other industry owned by their compatriots. It was here they learned that there is a radical faction of the Rainier that is trying to expel all non-sylvan from the forest because of clear cut harvesting.

On the way south the group took Kellogg Creek off of the Pullyallup to one of the clear cuts. There they found something unexpected; Dances The Jovian Magnetosphere, who delivered a warning of alien spores near Kamloops.

The group took this information and gave testimony to the Elders of the Rainier, who were able establish the truth, and were apologetic in their inability to sway Martrim the Bear.

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The Rescue of Ichiryu, Chapter 1
Disaster At Skyway

Erik Kumason Journal Entry 3:
The Tragedy of Skyway Island

The next tale of our intrepid band of adventurers begins one lazy afternoon while I was restringing my bow and looking to sharpen my blades when my sister Ingrid bursts in with a declaration “Our brother Ichiryu has been kidnapped!”
She them proceeded to explain “He was working up in the Rainer Camp,” which Is one of the families major logging operations, “when something happened and the Sylvans accused him of clearcutting. Citing treaty obligation Markill took him hostage and went up into the mountains.”
Halthor is busy and I need to go raise an troop in case this gets worse so you need to gather your friends, who were all in the room actually, and head up there to see what can be done.
“Very well Ingrid, we shall head there immediately” I agreed and my friends concurred. After a few pleasantries Ingrid stormed out as rapidly as she stormed in and we set about getting ready for a trip to Rainer.
We decided to go by canoe, as that is the fastest and easiest way to get there, and procured supplies for the trip. Nari was grumbling about shoes and asked if here high heel stiletto boots would be good for this trip. I just looked at her and said “let us get you some stylish hiking books.” She grumble but seemed to enjoy the chance to shop for something at least. Within a few hours we were off and making good time to Tukwilla, Ordin, and the Rainer Camp.
Things went well, other than more grumbling from Nari about how uncomfortable the canoe was and the need to incessantly paddle it, until we rounded Skyway Island. It was there we saw a pod of lorbs. Lorbs are an aquatic mammal, sort of like a long necked seal-plesiosaur which are often domesticated and can be used as riding mammals or trained like dogs. This pod we say was a wild pod and they smelled something on us, we tried to outrun them but finally realized they must be after the dried fish in our rations, which we quickly dumped overboard. Once again we tried to outrace them but they polished off our rations and came back for more. We had made it to shore at this point and they proceeded to ransack our canoes looking for more fish.
Anders shot one but this just brought the attention of the rest of the pod and we retreated into the forest of skyway until they left.
When we returned to our supplies they had be ravaged and the canoes wrecked. With little choice and darkness approaching I started to make a raft out of the canoes as well as vines and sapling from the forest with Torleaf’s help while Nari and Anders stood watch.
Naturally it was no surprise when piles of the local residents, horrible creatures known as Killist, dropped nets on us having snuck past and around Nari and Anders and tied us up. The Killist proceeded to drag us back to the village where we would presumably be slaughtered and cooked, which is what the Killist do to everyone and everything they catch.
Fortunately their nets are poorly made, as is everything they make and by struggling Anders and I managed to get the Killist to stab at us and cut the ropes binding us. Torleaf tried something similar but howled in pain as one of them impaled his hand into the ground with a spear and the ones carrying Nari ran off ahead as she struggled.
As soon as I got free I pulled out my axe and started slaughtering the homicidal beasts and managed to kill two before my axe broke. Fortunately I had recently purchased a proper glaive and freeing it from the nets, began to cleave them in twain. After Ander and Torleaf killed a couple each the rest ran off into the wilderness howling with the pain of their wounds and in humiliation. We then proceeded up the trail and found were Nari had freed herself and rolled off into the forest. She had not gotten far before running into a poised trap some of the Killist had set and then her path proceeded to be more erratic. With light failing and Nari lost I decided to use the Illusionary Light Projector cipher I had to aid us and while it put out a suitable amount of light the images it projected appeared to be Pre-Fall characters at some sort of law firm where various people engaged in lawsuits, flirting, sex and large amounts of personal drama. It helped us find Nari, which was all that mattered. I managed to treat her wounds and make a curative for the poison and we carried her back to the beach where we managed to finish making the raft, whereupon we put our gear on it and swam to Tukwilla, just across the sound. The locales were amused at our plight but generously helped us get showers, clean up get a good nights rest and resupply. The next day we set out for Ordin.
Before relating the tale from Ordin and back again I will simply say at this point that we meet up with Ingrid and her band of warriors that she had assembled to deal with the Sylvan problem if we could not. Since we did we managed to convince her that “something” needed to be done about Skyway. The natives there needed a culling and they probably had plenty of ciphers from all the slaughtering of travelers they had done over the years. The townsfolk of Tukwilla agreed that Skyway would be a great place for settlement if only something could be done about the Killist. So Ingrid agreed to lead an punitive expedition on Skyway.
Upon landing there we worked our way slowly inland, dismantling traps as we went and managed to subdue, and by that I mean slaughter enough until the survivors ran in fear, several villages. However in one we found something very interesting, more on that later. However, although by no means is Skyway cleared, at least something has been done to tamper the Killist ability to slaughter travelers for a while anyway. Perhaps one day we could clear the island of them. I can think of nothing better for the place.

Erik Kumason

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